Investing in Your Closest Relationship
Of all of the decisions you make across your lifetime, few compare to the one in which you choose with whom to spend that time.
It seems a blur– you were a child, you grew into an adult, and before long you were driving, working, growing, and the next thing you knew you started your own family and were off on your own adventure. Things seemed perfect when you were first starting out– buoyed by the emotions and newness of it all, everything was excellent and seemed like it would be that way forever.
But it doesn’t stay that way– what once felt effortless becomes something that is a chore, and those things that showed love to one another become what love really is: a verb, a doing of things rather than just a feeling. Few enter marriage thinking about how they will cheat when they will divorce, or how soon they can get out of it– the feelings of the time make most believe that what they have will last forever.
Solomon spends a whole chapter warning us about the dangers inherent in looking elsewhere in our marriage.
Let your fountain be blessed,
Proverbs 5:18-21
and take pleasure in the wife of your youth.
A loving deer, a graceful doe– let her breasts always satisfy you; be lost in her love forever.
Why, my son, would you lose yourself with a forbidden woman or embrace a wayward woman?
For a man’s ways are before the Lord’s eyes,
and he considers all his paths.
Physical temptation and lust are not new to this time, nor is the access to new for this chapter reads about how easy it is to be seduced or enticed to look and be pulled away to a person that is not our spouse. We know that Solomon had a lot of experience with not following his own advice– which may be why this warning found its place in his writings so close to him multiple admonitions to listen to what he had to say.
It starts with a look, it’s fed by time spent, and it is not unnoticed by God, and sometimes by others. Though it may seem like you can recapture the emotion of the time you were dating and first married, invest in your chosen partner– learn their love language. You will find that love deeper, stronger, and more fulfilling than following after something else.
I’m currently reading The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman and found it interesting. If you pick up the book via my link above, a portion of that sale will come back to support this blog, without changing the price for you.
